Emissions
by Mike Sweger
February 29, 1996
Change the tire --
Screw the lugs on tight
Hurry now
don't take all damn night --
An auto with emissions
is a car with bad pistons
I hear their noisy garages
Pay the bills
that break my bank
I gaze at the grimey mechanic
The patch on his shirt says he's "Hank"
When I feel the power decreasing
And my car won't climb the hills
I wish I owned their business --
I wouldn't pay these bills!
Autos spew forth noxious emissions
Wrench-turners are waiting
Focused only on their high profits
So I can pay for their dating
Get a grip on
this costly possession --
I'm a slave to my driving obsession --
My car spews emissions,
and they say it's the pistons...
I watch the red gauges flicker
Bring the car to a grinding halt
Walk six miles
to the gas station
And I know it's all Hank's fault
But he can't even
change motor oil
Nor gap the spark plugs right
Mechanics just want more money --
To free me from my plight!
It's a long walk home
You'd better not doubt it
Should've asked for a loaner --
Now I suffer without it
If your car is
exotic and strange
You'd be wise to
quickly exchange it
For something with parts priced more sane
Maybe something in Yugo's price range
We each pay an outrageous price
For our autos that look so nice
But those cars with worn pistons
make some wonderful cisterns...