Nature has some new plague
To live in our sheets
Microbes in the wrinkles
We must try to defeat
Fugitives at the laundry room door
Cleaners pause to find an open store
Clothing is spread all over the floor
And there's no Tide lets get some more.

THIS IS NOT A FALSE ALARM
THIS IS NOT A TEST

Stay out of the mud
Even where clothing covers skin
Dirt full of poison
And my jeans are just to thin
Bless the washer and mud no more
Clothing stained by an open sore
Black grime falling to the laundry room floor
And all the Tide spilled by the door

THIS IS NOT A FALSE ALARM
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing we can clean away
Dirt we cannot best
The clothing is made ugly by
An uninvited guest

Deadline approaches
Clothes full of sand
They used to be spotless
But now they are sticking to our hands
Too late for debate, to bad to ignore
That atrocious odor leads to open war
Bring all our change to the corner store
Hope they have Tide we need some more

Now's the time to turn to Tide
Now's the time to fight
Let us not go dirty
To the big event tonight
Now's the time to clean the clothes
While hope is still in sight
Let us not go dirty
To the big event tonight