They say it's only a game - not that I would change my mind
On T.V. - ya see it's not a waste of time
And if I win - i'll be rich, and it's no crime
The way that big wheel spins

Well I arrived in LA, Pat was there to shake my hand
Thought I'd see, if I could be Vanna's man
Taking no chances, I wait with rose in hand
Her rejection was bad!

BUYING A VOWEL
Don't want to wait to solve it
GET A FREE SPIN
Or some insight that will help me win
PLAYING WITH DORKS
I can't believe they picked these contestants
LOOK AT THAT CAR
The way that big wheel spins

Well I had only a few, them darn spaces to fill
My mind goes blank, I think I'm getting ill
So I thought I could solve it, but those chances are all in the wheel

Well I still had a chance, spin without a second glance
Going for broke, time for a final chance
Way beyond hope, I wanna win that trip to France
It's such a circumstance

Wheel spins round, landing on a thousand bucks
Keeping my assets, I'll have a better chance
When the final guessing begins

Wheel slows down, landing on the bankrupt spot
Game redirected, wheel stops unexpected
Sometimes the fat lady wins
The way that damn wheel spins!